


When You're at the End of Your Rope, Tie a Knot and Hang On

by ken_ichijouji (dommific)



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Domesticity, Like IKEA selling Nesting Furniture Mundane, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mundane Omegaverse, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Omegas With Vulvas, Slice of Life, Though They Mean Well, Trying to have a baby, You heard me, Yuuri has a Vulva, meddling family members
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-01-20
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:01:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22326757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dommific/pseuds/ken_ichijouji
Summary: It’s going well, but it always does, or so Yuuri thinks until Minako clears her throat. “The triplets turn twelve soon.”“It’s true!” Mom smiles. “They’re growing like reeds!”“Practically women,” Dad concurs.Mari for some reason winces. Yuuri is about to ask when Minako removes the need. “So when are you two going to have a baby?”Victor snorts, an inelegant sound he only makes on rare occasions that Yuuri adores thanks to its scarcity.“Minako,” Yuuri’s mother sighs.“Don’t act like every single one of you isn’t curious,” Minako admonishes as she takes a sip of her sake.When Yuuri and Victor are retired, it seems like everyone around them has decided it's the perfect time for kids.Yuuri isn't so sure, though.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 65
Kudos: 454
Collections: Chihohohoko 2020: Victor’s 30th birthday exchange





	When You're at the End of Your Rope, Tie a Knot and Hang On

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilithiumwords](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilithiumwords/gifts).



They’ve been together for five years, married three, and Yuuri’s been retired one when Victor’s family drops it on them at the annual Nikiforov Passover Seder, somewhere between the washing of the hands and the poor youngest Nikiforova receiving the bitter herb and charoset sandwich to eat, her expression turning almost comically sour. 

“Vitya,” says his eldest Aunt, “Your mother isn’t getting any younger. When will you and Yura give her grandchildren?”

Yuuri almost spits out his water. 

Victor laughs a little, brushing a few locks of Yuuri’s hair behind his left ear. The gold on the band he wears briefly touches Yuuri’s neck, and he gives Victor an uncertain smile. “We’re still enjoying only answering to ourselves. So not yet or anytime in the immediate future.”

“Leave them alone, Jelica,” Victor’s mother admonishes. “They have plenty of time to worry about children. _Plenty_.”

Yuuri feels the weight of every omega ever before him lifted off his shoulders, like some sort of bizarre version of the Avatar state from that one cartoon he’d catch in reruns with Phichit. 

“We do have plenty of time,” Victor says with a reassuring smile aimed at Yuuri. He squeezes Yuuri’s hand under the table, and Yuuri goes back to lamenting how it takes forever for them to actually get to the meal part of the Seder every time. It’s like sitting properly for a tea ceremony but at a ten percent greater test of his will. 

The seder resumes; one of the youngest cousins finds the afikomen with a triumphant yell, and the adults chat about adult things like vacations and retirement plans. 

Jelica brings up being a parent a couple of more times, but Yuuri simply gives polite nods and Victor adroitly changes the subject in reply. 

They have plenty of time, Yuuri echoes Victor in his thoughts as they get their coats and head home at the end of the festivities. Their whole lives are ahead of them, truly. 

* * *

Due to the pain in the ass that is moving internationally, combined with Makkachin having finally slowed down to a sweet, sleepy bean in her old age, it will be another two years before they have the talk about returning to Hasetsu on a more permanent basis. Victor always goes on about how good it’s been for business at the Ice Castle when they do off-season training there, but Yuuri often catches him lingering a few seconds too long on a photo he took of the fireworks over the sky during Tanabata the second summer they were together. The smile Victor always wears when he looks at that photo is a combination of happy and homesick. 

So Yuuri knows it’s just a matter of time before they start looking at real estate somewhere between the onsen and the Ice Castle, since he pretends to not notice Victor’s bookmark for the Japanese naturalization process, too.

His family Skypes with them at least once a week since sitting around a computer screen is better in terms of letting them all be visible during the call. It can become a bit chaotic, but it’s always welcome. 

It’s dinner time in Japan, just before lunch in Saint Petersburg, and Yuuri boots up his laptop so when they call he can answer it right away. Victor sits next to him with his chin perched on his shoulder. “Yuuri,” Victor begins. “I’d like to take you out tonight.”

Yuuri smiles. “Where?”

Victor hums for a second. “If I can get us into Hermitage, would you like that?”

It takes Yuuri a while to recall what place he means. “Is that the one on the Flying Dutchman?”

“The one with the panoramic windows, yes,” Victor answers. “I think I’ve been neglecting romancing you properly the last few months. I have to make up for lost time.”

“Don’t let it happen again,” Yuuri rebukes. His laughter undermines it, of course. 

Laughing also, Victor nuzzles a little closer. Yuuri allows it, but if he keeps going he’ll have to stop it since his mom is calling and she just doesn’t need to know certain things. “Can we?”

“Of course,” Yuuri answers just as a melodic series of beeps signal that his family is one the line. Victor reaches around him and clicks the button to answer. “Moshi Moshi.”

His family plus Minako this time all shout excitedly and not a single one of their greetings is intelligible. Oh well. 

“Hi,” Yuuri tries again. “How is everything?”

“Business is booming,” his father announces with pride. “We’re going to see how we do next quarter, because we may be able to hire some help.”

“That’s wonderful!” Victor beams at them with a small nudge to Yuuri’s side. Yuuri nudges him back. 

They talk for a while about all the necessary life things that they miss by being on separate parts of the same continent. Mari, of course, insists that next time Yuri be present so she can say hello, and they promise they’ll make it happen. 

It’s going well, but it always does, or so Yuuri thinks until Minako clears her throat. “The triplets turn twelve soon.”

“It’s true!” Mom smiles. “They’re growing like reeds!”

“Practically women,” Dad concurs.

Mari for some reason winces. Yuuri is about to ask when Minako removes the need. “So when are you two going to have a baby?”

Victor snorts, an inelegant sound he only makes on rare occasions that Yuuri adores thanks to its scarcity. 

“Minako,” Yuuri’s mother sighs. 

“Don’t act like every single one of you isn’t curious,” Minako admonishes as she takes a sip of her sake. 

“When the timing is right,” Victor says with the smile that always got him extra helpings of takoyaki at the onsen. “You’ll be the first to know.”

Their Hasetsu family all talk over one another excitedly, except Mari who gives Yuuri a look with a raised eyebrow. Yuuri gives her a one-shouldered shrug in return. The topic changes to many other things like upcoming matsuris and how Sagen Tousa will fare in the coming season; when they hang up, Victor stretches and heads to their master suite. “I’m going to shower for my romantic evening with you.”

The tone in his voice is lilting and sensual, and Yuuri feels the familiar pull of his husband and Alpha making a courtship gesture. Like a Bowerbird, if they could read dinner menus in French and open doors for him...though the mental image of a giant Bowerbird capable of using claws like hands is mildly horrific. 

Regardless, keeping the romance going when it’s not close to their annual mating time is pretty wonderful. A lot of bonded Omegas complain that they only get romanced in the lead-up to their Heat Cycles. In fact, the headline article in this month’s Russian Cosmo issue boldly states it has the secret to _Keeping Your Alpha Into You: Spicy Tips for Sex as Wild as During Your Heat_. 

Yuuri had a dentist appointment two days ago, and the newspaper was spoken for by an elderly man needing his dentures fitted more properly -- he swears this is the only reason he’s aware this exists.

Back to what’s important, which is that Victor wants a quiet, romantic evening, and Yuuri is more than a little warm inside like his heart has become shimmering blue candy floss instead of muscle and veins. He decides to wear that lapis-blue sweater Victor got him on a whim last month, mostly because it’ll feel nice when Victor takes it off him later.

The conversation with their family comes back then, and Yuuri remembers Nishigori talking to him with audible exhaustion in his voice, relating about lack of sleep and the inability to spend some time alone with his wife thanks to the teething triplets down the hall. 

Yuuri sighs. He’s glad Victor is also happy to wait on having kids. It would suck to be on different pages about when to begin a family.

* * *

  
  
The problem when Yuuri talks to Phichit on the phone is as follows: Phichit is a motormouth who often lapses into Thai without thinking, resulting in Yuuri feeling like he needs to be some sort of human Babelfish to follow the train of conversation. Phichit is family too, but it’s a lot harder to keep up when they just have the phone. When Phichit is in the same room as Yuuri, it’s much easier for them both.

“And then I tell Ciao Ciao, you know, revisiting “Shall We Skate?” for my final Olympics showing is probably a really great swan song, and he says --” 

Yuuri tries so valiantly to keep up as he strolls through a shopping district, because Phichit is always so into everything he does like some sort of guileless sunray personified, but also all of the family members lately ganging up on him and Victor regarding kids is still at the forefront of his brain.

“Yuuri! นี่ ล้อเล่นใช่ไหม! คุณไม่ได้ฟังฉันเลย,” Phichit scoffs.

“Of course I’m listening,” Yuuri lies with practiced ease. “Ciao Ciao thinks it’s a good fit for a final program.”

Phichit sighs. “Spill it.”

Yuuri passes a quaint little boutique that has children’s clothing and a very pretty bassinet in the display window. There are plush toys and blankets on the shelves alongside baby dishes, more tiny clothing, and other sundries for new arrivals. He doesn’t realize he’s staring for a few minutes.

“Yuuri, I can actually hear your brain wandering away from this phone call.” Phichit sounds mildly disgusted and a lot reproachful. “What is going _on_?”

He can keep faking that things are fine, but also Phichit is like some sort of black ops extractor and it will end in tears. _Yuuri’s tears_. “Victor’s family and mine keep asking about babies. I’m not sure what to think about it since it’s frankly out of nowhere.”

Phichit seems to be considering his next move; when he’s finished, Yuuri is entirely unprepared to hear, “Well, since you opened the topic...when _are_ the two of you going to have kids?”

“Phichit!” A woman walking a Borzoi starts so hard she trips, causing her dog to wrap itself around a lamppost yelping thanks to Yuuri screeching his friend’s name. 

“Look, literally everyone has money in the Katsuforov Babywatch Pool,” Phichit says. “ _Everyone_.”

“Mickey would never.” Yuuri helps the woman up with an apologetic smile. The dog calms when he pets it, and the woman is happily on her way in her Ivy Park leggings. He gets distracted again by a minimalist baby onesie that says _My daddies’ favorite human._

“Oh but Mickey absolutely has,” Phichit answers. “Seung Gil, Little Yuri, Yakov --”

“Shut up!” Yuuri wonders if that onesie comes in more colors than Generic Organic Cotton Beige. Victor wouldn’t allow any kid in his immediate radius to wear beige, it would violate his code of ethics down to his very core.

“Yakov probably has the most monetary investment, if I recall,” Phichit continues. “But anyways, I have November of this year so if you could do me a huge solid Yuuri…”

“Hanging up on you.” Yuuri goes to hit the round red button to disconnect the call.

“Ugh, after everything I’ve done for you,” Phichit counters. “Your kids would be cute, though. Admit it.”

“I will not,” Yuuri proclaims as he hangs up for real. He also notices a yellow rain slicker and some very tiny wellies. The shop is full of cute things, sure, but...it’s so weird how suddenly everyone in their lives is all about babies and babies and then did they mention babies? Because, you know. 

**Babies.**

Yuuri likes kids and is good with them usually (he prefers not to talk about the Kimchee Incident with the Triplets, thanks), but everyone around him dictating that _Now Is the Time to Reproduce_ is so pushy, borderline invasive, and he wants Victor to be the arbiter of that choice with him. He doesn’t want people insisting they want to be grandparents or Godparents or whatever. 

It’s _their_ choice when the time is right. 

And sure, no one has been really rude or anything, no one is dictating that they must do it today, but why can’t they just let them figure it out and then, when Yuuri’s at the end of the first trimester, celebrate with them? Why do they have to constantly ask this question like it’s life or death?

Also what if they decide they _don’t_ want them at all? Won’t everyone be mad or at least letdown? Why does everyone have to butt in? It feels like being set up for failure in a way.

Yuuri was mildly confused but now he’s convinced himself that he’s angry about this. He walks the rest of the way to his building, and the normally jovial doorman takes one look at his face, gives a soft yelp, and hides in the room they keep the Amazon Lockers in lieu of saying hi. After taking the lift to their top floor penthouse, Yuuri stomps into the bathroom, draws a bath, and more or less stews in hot lavender-scented water. 

He will calm down in time to have dinner with Victor, and they will probably cuddle and watch Terrace House after, but for now, Yuuri just wants to be left alone by the world and everyone in it who only care to talk about the hypothetical future babies he’ll be having.

* * *

A week goes by with nary a comment or word regarding babies, having them, or anything else related to all things procreative. 

Yuuri is relieved, so he resumes his life as scheduled. Occasional dance classes and jogging to keep in shape, trying to determine how to decorate that third smaller bedroom they have since the second is the guest suite, Makkachin has a wellness appointment…

Victor’s reading a lot in their downtime, which is pretty standard. He’s always been a voracious reader, and it’s why he had all those insane lamps around their bed in Hasetsu. Sometimes it felt like trying to sleep under the noon sun, but Victor just grumbled about having 20/15 vision and wanting to keep it that way, so Yuuri didn’t argue.

Yuuri flips through his Netflix account to try to find something to watch, then he reconsiders and swaps through Victor’s. They never merged into a family account so they can try to fight the region locking as well as to help their language practice for Russian and Japanese respectively.

Yuuri is about to type a new drama into the search menu when something in the Recently Watched catches his eye.

_Call the Midwife. The Business of Being Born. The Happiest Baby on the Block. Knocked Up._

For the first time since puberty, Yuuri is filled with a violently creeping sense of unease.

Victor’s Kindle is on the side table next to a scented candle and a potted orchid.

Yuuri tries to recall Victor’s schedule for that day: he’s meeting with Yakov about the transition from Yakov coaching fulltime to retirement while Victor takes on a few of his charges. Mila is excited about Victor coaching her, and Yuri only pretended to complain for two weeks when he was told. It’s a new record. 

Yuuri grabs the Kindle. He opens the reader app.

_Bringing Up Bebe. A Life’s Work. What to Expect When You’re Expecting. Omegas’ Bodies, Omegas’ Wisdom._

This is grounds for divorce, Yuuri thinks. Like _irreconcilable differences, incompatible lifestyles, your honor he said we’d do this in time and here’s this mess,_ Yuuri will say the day the case goes to court. 

He’s being stupid because he’d never leave Victor willingly but seriously what the actual fuck?

The familiar sound of their electronic lock opening is the only clue Yuuri’s sat around staring at nothing for hours because Victor’s home. “Tadaima,” Victor announces as he takes off his shoes to place them in the cubby they have in their foyer. Makkachin makes her way to her Papa to say hello. 

Yuuri doesn’t tell Victor _okaerinasai_ like is typical. Instead, he stands up, and when Victor comes close enough for a hello kiss, he puts the Kindle in his face as a barrier. “Care to explain?”

Victor steps back, probably because he can’t see the Kindle clearly. The way he clears his throat is riddled with guilt. “Ah, Yuuri--”

“Are you in on this? On everyone asking and bugging us?” Yuuri accuses. 

“No,” Victor admits. He pushes the Kindle down. “But…well, I’d be lying if I said it didn’t perhaps make some gears turn.”

“You’re unbelievable!” Yuuri snaps. “You’re so--”

“Will you stop please?” Victor says. He puts the Kindle down on the couch. “I am not doing anything more than preliminary research! I’m not doing this because it needs to happen this instant, I’m doing it because you know how I get with new things and planning. This is completely foreign territory for both of us, and whenever it’s time, a _time we choose together_ , I want to be armed with all of the information I can have.”

Yuuri deflates a little. It’s true. He’s the one that leaps without looking, and Victor is the planner almost to an exasperating degree. The third bedroom isn’t decorated because Victor got six paint samples, put them all on the walls, and then decided he didn’t want yellow in there after all, what about like a sage green Yuuri. They’re good for each other in that Victor can reign in Yuuri when he just goes and it’s imprudent, likewise, Yuuri can pull Victor away from his Lumbar Pillow Spreadsheet (it ranks both durability and coziness) and force him into a decision. 

Victor gets lost in his head to make sure he makes a good choice the first time, Yuuri gets lost in anxiety and it makes him just move. They’ve become better since finding each other, but there’s still a lot of This Victor that remains.

It makes sense, but more importantly, Yuuri should have foreseen this. It’s his Victor through and through -- he won’t have any kind of baby with Yuuri without knowing every possible outcome, complication, and positive going into it. Period.

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri says. “It just looked --”

“I know, love,” Victor replies. “I should have told you I was researching it. This was an unfortunate shock I gave you, but I swear we’re not going to even consider it until the two of us agree that it’s the perfect time. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Yuuri nods. He moves so that he’s pressed to Victor’s chest with his nose right at the scent glands in Victor’s throat. He scents Victor for a minute like he always does when they have a tiff as an apology. It’s a means of reassurance for them both. 

Victor kisses the crown of his hair, and Yuuri snuggles closer. He’s so lucky to have Victor in so many ways, and this is just but one.

They have plenty of time still to have a baby or two, and he knows that Victor will be the best co-parent ever.

He’s already the best bond partner, husband, and coach. It’s impossible for him to not be just as amazing at raising children.

* * *

The debate about furnishing the third room keeps continuing, and so they find themselves at IKEA on a Tuesday around lunchtime. They let Makkachin play with the other dogs in the pet daycare center and then begin their travels through the rabbit warren of the showroom. 

They wade through living rooms, mock tiny studios, bedrooms…

Until the nesting furniture displays. 

IKEA is far from the only manufacturer that offers them, as they’re absurdly commonplace at this point in human history. Nesting furniture usually involves a large round bed with privacy curtains for unmated Omegas that share space. The curtains are light-blocking as well as muffling noises from outside as well as in. There are other options as well, such as Murphy Nesting beds and convertible sofas and loungers. 

There’s talk of transportable options if a heat comes early, but the weight is a little too much to be truly portable. It’s still in the early testing stages, though.

Victor is fascinated by one that’s tailored for happily bonded mating pairs, with sheer canopies and lacquered wood. Yuuri gives him a confused look. “Do you like this?” Victor asks.

Yuuri looks up at the canopies, then back to Victor. “I mean, it’s fine? Our bed’s worked great since I moved here.”

“Mm,” Victor says. “I just am wondering if maybe it’s time to upgrade.”

“We passed the bedroom furniture about half an hour ago, I think it was before the office furniture but after the kitchen counter options.” Yuuri is mostly thinking out loud.

“I just think since we’ll be trying…” Victor winces. “I mean, when we start trying eventually, maybe we should pick something that will be more conducive to...you know.”

His eyes narrowing a bit, Yuuri opens his mouth, closes it, then starts again. “Interesting word choice.”

Victor winces again. “Was it?”

“Yes,” Yuuri says. He gives Victor another long stare. Victor’s blushing a little and there’s some sweat on his brow. It’s admittedly super hot in the store thanks to the crowds and all the walking, but… “You want to do it, don’t you?”

Victor coughs. The look on his face says more than any words can. “Only if you do! I mean that! I’m serious. It’s not worth pressuring you, and it’s not something I want until you’re ready. But _I’m_ ready, as much as anyone can be. I’ll be ready and willing whenever you decide you’re ready too. I mean that.”

Yuuri sighs. “Okay. I’ll tell you when I think we should go for it.”

“Okay,” Victor says. The relief pours over him, and Yuuri sighs, taking his hand. 

The next part of the showroom is the children’s furniture. Cribs that convert to small beds, tables and chairs, beanbags, stuffed toys, mobiles surround them in cute color patterns and soft, flame retardant fabrics. Rocking chairs to soothe babies to sleep or to more easily nurse them are set up in the infant room display. 

It’s cute. Yuuri tries to picture himself and a young baby in the rocker as he reads to them. It sort of happens, but he can’t really visualize what a kid made by him and Victor would look like. He wants their kids to have Victor’s beautiful eyes, but he thinks they might come out better with his nose. 

It’s hard to say, he just can’t really picture it. 

Victor takes him by the hand through the end of the showroom to the self-service area, and they spend a lot of time looking at rugs and linens. He takes note of items they want to decide between using the IKEA phone app, and then they decide to get Makkachin and head home for supper.

Victor didn’t put the nesting beds on the shopping list. He didn’t put baby furniture on it either. Yuuri feels a bit guilty at the relief he feels when he notices.

They call it an early night, with Yuuri replying to text messages as Victor reads the ISU schedule for the upcoming season, making notes of what GPF qualifiers he may have to attend besides Rostelecom. When the lights turn down and they kiss goodnight, Victor falls asleep right away. 

Yuuri doesn’t.

* * *

  
  
Yuuri’s annual heat is a week after Tanabata in the middle of July. It made celebrating it pretty hard once he hit reproductive maturity since if he was in pre-heat he could cause a ruckus in the midways or at the shrine without meaning to. Once or twice, because of an Alpha, he was eyeing from a distance in a normal schoolyard-crush way, it was _a little_ deliberate, which resulted in being grounded when the heat ended and a very awkward lecture from Minako about not throwing away his skating goals for a few days of hormonal fun.

Yuuri tried to interject the reminder he was put on the pill as soon as his first heat specifically for this purpose, but Minako didn’t let him get a word in edgewise. 

Happily married for years, committed for even longer, Yuuri still takes the pill because infections and social diseases aren’t in the picture, so they haven’t used condoms since they first got together. 

The date is the twelfth of June. He’s due for an annual wellness visit to, among other things, get his annual script for birth control. Omegas actually can become pregnant outside of a heat, but during one is when fertility is at its peak, and when the mated Alpha’s rut is triggered by the heat cycle, their potency is at its peak as well. A heat typically lasts three days and there is annual paid leave for people up to five days at workplaces as mandated by law. 

Yuuri looks at the pill pack in his hands, and the sugar pills with their slightly different color to the ones that actually contain the hormones that prevent ovulation. He’s been on these for so long, he can barely recall not having to take them daily. He even does it on autopilot every morning -- sometimes the only way he’s certain he hasn’t missed a dose is looking at the case and seeing how many days are punched out because it’s that ingrained at this point.

If he stops taking them, then he can possibly get impregnated during his heat in a month or even after at any point if they have sex. 

Is he actually ready for this? 

Are they both actually ready for this?

What if they are ready and it doesn’t work? Won’t they both be crushed? Victor would probably be at least decently depressed, he takes disappointments harder than he shows. Yuuri’s usually the only one privy to it. Usually, there aren’t any tears, but there’s a lot of silence, a lot of fake smiling, and a lot of Victor spending time alone lying in bed without sleeping. 

Yuuri really hates seeing those days. He just hates it so much.

Before he really registers it, Yuuri sends an iMessage to Yuuko. _Are you busy?_

It takes her a minute to reply. _Nah, just balancing the ledger in the office upstairs. I can chat. What’s up?_

He considers calling her, but...he probably won’t get the words out. _How’d you know that having the girls was right?_

The little bubble that signals her typing out a reply comes and goes for a while. She must be editing or rewording it. Then, she finally says: _I love my husband, and I would never trade my girls for anything, but to be honest, I was scared shitless. I didn’t feel ready at all until they were born and then it’s like something clicked. Having them here, real and healthy, it’s like I knew that things were how they should be. Does that make any sense?_

He doesn’t get to reply before she adds another long paragraph.

_I don’t think anyone’s ever actually ready-ready. I think pretty much every parent’s a wreck, especially with the first kid. You can read or talk to people all you want, but the thing is every pregnancy and baby is different. I think there’s not really such a thing as ‘ready’ because something will always be unexpected in parenting. I think you just have to hope for the best and try your best, and if your best isn’t what you need, then you adjust and keep going until you find the right best._

Yuuri mulls this over. _A lot of people keep asking Victor and me about kids. I’m trying to figure out if I think it’s a good time to go through with it._

 _You’re the only one who can really say, you know?_ Yuuko ends that with a winking smiley emoji. _I think as long as you two just stay communicative, you’ll be fine, but don’t do this on someone else’s schedule. It’s a decision that will impact your day-to-day for the rest of your lives. If you think now is good, then go for it! If you think five years from now is better, then wait for it. Not like you can’t change your mind down the road._

Yuuri thinks back to the triplets' pregnancy, and how tired Yuuko was from helping Takeshi with his morning sickness. He had hyperemesis, and she was burning the midnight oil making sure he kept on weight. Between ending up with three kids the first shot and his nausea, they decided that was that. His tubal ligation happened not long after labor and delivery. 

_Have I helped at all? I feel like maybe I gave a bunch of non-answers, oops._

_No, it’s all very good advice,_ Yuuri assures her. _Thanks!_

 _Anytime!_

He locks his phone and puts it face down on the bathroom counter. He looks at the pill pack again, with the label stating _Refills available: 0. Please contact your physician._

Yuuri considers his options for a few hours, and then he makes the choice for his annual visit in a few days.

* * *

Victor doesn’t go with Yuuri to most medical appointments, which works out perfectly for his needs on this occasion. He comes home with some literature, as well as needing a shot of chilled vodka as fortification. 

Yuuri finds Victor curled up on their balcony lounger with Makkachin sleeping on his legs. He sits on the outdoor coffee table across from them. “Hi.”

“Hello,” Victor says with a cheerful smile. It fades a little at the expression on Yuuri’s face. “Did the doctor find something?”

“Oh, no,” Yuuri says. “No, there’s nothing wrong. I’m just nervous.” The confusion is as expected as it is obvious on Victor’s face. “Um.”

Victor waits because Victor knows Yuuri well enough to know it’s best to let him talk in his own time. God, he’s in love with him. 

“I...stopped the pill,” Yuuri manages somewhat clumsily. “My heat’s soon, and I stopped getting the pill.”

It takes Victor a minute to get the entendre. “...Really?”

“She said with as long as I’ve been on it, it will probably take a while for the hormones to work themselves out,” Yuuri says. “So it may not happen immediately, as full disclosure, but if we have problems after six months I should talk to her about some specialist referrals.”

The smile on Victor’s face is so huge, it makes Yuuri tear up a little in response. 

“I don’t want to tell anyone until it’s actually happening, either,” Yuuri says. “Maybe not even until I finish the first trimester. I don’t want to have to constantly answer questions about how it’s going, and I would feel more comfortable anyhow.”

“No, of course,” Victor says. “I’m happy you’re ready to try! I really am, Yuuri, I don’t know how to tell you how happy I am.”

He’s beaming like a kid. Victor is beaming like a kid in the most abundantly joyous way, and Yuuri swallows before smiling back. There are no guarantees, but then there never are, and they’ll take this journey together just like they always have. Victor disturbs Makkachin to pull Yuuri into a long kiss and a longer embrace. He’s practically buzzing with excitement. 

Yuuri sends up a little prayer that it works the first time. He also sends a longer one that if it doesn’t, Victor won’t be crushed. 

* * *

  
  
Yuuri knows his pre-heat is hitting by a combination of two signs: being overheated literally everywhere, including industrial freezers like the one used in the onsen, and a drastically increased appetite, like carb-loading before a competition except for 72 hours of sex. 

On July 10th, Yuuri is out to dinner with Victor when after dessert, he asks to see a menu again. He also asks for a glass of just ice and holds it to the side of his face. 

Victor sends a text that says _I think we need to go home, love_.

“My stroganoff hasn’t come yet,” Yuuri answers out loud.

Victor coughs and looks at the table about eight feet to their right. Yuuri doesn’t get it until he sees that a woman who can only be an Alpha giving Yuuri an interested smile. Victor gives her a death glare for the trouble, and she coughs into her napkin and looks away. 

Oh.

“Yeah, okay,” Yuuri says after a moment. “I don’t want you getting put in a holding cell for assault or something.”

“I appreciate that,” Victor says with a wry expression. He signals the server over and requests Yuuri’s second dinner be wrapped up to go along with a mille-feuille. He also gives her his card and says to run it immediately. She glances at Yuuri, gets the gist, and follows the instructions to the letter. 

When she’s done and they have Yuuri’s to-go bag, Victor leaves a generous cash tip. They head home, and Victor puts Yuuri’s food in the fridge. He takes Yuuri’s cardigan, holding it against his throat and pressing one of his wrists into another part of the Merino wool. When he’s done, he hands it to Yuuri for the nest. “Let me take Makkachin to the sitter. When I get back, I’ll get everything else ready.”

Yuuri nods, feeling a bit feverish as well as anticipatory. Their building has pet sitters available on call for such occasions as heats as well as travel or long workdays, so it’s just a few floors on the lift. It won’t take but twenty minutes, but Yuuri’s mind is flipping sideways a bit at his Alpha taking off right now. 

Victor must read it in his eyes because he hands Yuuri the moto jacket he wears. He also gives him the hoodie he had on that morning when they jogged. The garments and their scents calm Yuuri almost instantly. Victor kisses his forehead and then takes Makkachin to the sitter. 

Yuuri heads into the bedroom and places the clothes he already has on his side of the bed. Then he rummages into the hamper for more. Victor purposely waits to send out the laundry around Yuuri’s heats because Yuuri is an aggressive nester. During the first summer Victor was in Hasetsu, Yuuri was unconsciously stealing things from what was then just his room like sheets, towels, practice clothes, and even the robe part of his jinbei until Victor caught him. 

Then Victor with a surprising amount of shyness told him to just ask, and Yuuri was quick to realize he didn’t mean only about the nesting. That was the only good heat Yuuri had ever experienced at that point, and each has been better since. 

The difference between being in love versus not, Yuuri guesses. 

So Yuuri now has several towels, last week’s pillowcases, everything Victor’s worn for five days, his own clothing and pajamas that have enough Trace Elements of Victor on them to count, and he is huddled in a pile of them in the center of their bed. He’s stripped down to his boxer briefs and a thin undershirt of Victor’s, and he’s mostly soothed by the lack of Victor thanks to the nest. 

There’s about thirty minutes total before Victor appears in the bedroom door. “The blockers and white noise machines are on,” Victor says with a soft smile. 

Yuuri nods, and then he opens his arms. Victor takes off his slacks, socks, and necktie, rolling up his sleeves before joining Yuuri in the nest. He sits behind him, wrapping his arms around Yuuri’s waist, and Yuuri feels the tension in his spine melt. Victor rests his wrist against the inside of Yuuri’s so their scents mingle. It helps the buzzing starting below Yuuri’s skin dull a little into more of a soft, soothing hum. 

The full heat won’t start until the next morning probably since that was the other reason for the pills. Yuuri has issues with prolonged pre-heat cycles sometimes, so the pills were to regulate him. He should have considered that before dropping them, but since his heat’s in summer he can just take time off and stay at home should it prove necessary. 

Future Yuuri’s issue, though. Current Yuuri is in a warm nest with his beautiful Alpha’s scent surrounding him. Victor strokes the back of his neck, brushing the hairs there off his skin. The hum in his bones levels into a softer, smoother sensation and Yuuri can feel the first bits of dampness in his boxers. 

The soft groan that Victor makes into his right ear is the only indicator he can smell Yuuri's arousal along with his normal scent’s thickening into something headier to entice Victor. Not that Victor _needs_ it, but Yuuri's body has a mind of its own right now. There’s nothing he can do about it.

“You always kill me,” Victor says. Yuuri shifts farther back into him, and he can feel Victor’s half-hard erection press into his lower vertebrae. 

Just a few more hours, and then a few days, and then a couple of weeks for a test, Yuuri guesses. 

It’s possibly the First Heat of the Rest of His Life.

* * *

  
  
It’s maybe five am when Yuuri wakes, still sitting in the nest with Victor behind him. His head feels like it’s about to combust, and he’s sopping wet in his boxers. If Victor doesn’t touch him he might explode. “Victor.”

“I’m here,” Victor answers. 

Victor doesn’t sleep when Yuuri’s in his cycle. He makes sure that Yuuri eats, hydrates, and sleeps in between waves, but he doesn’t sleep until it ends. It’s the main way his baser instincts manifest around Yuuri’s heats. 

Well. Outside of those _other_ base instincts. 

Victor has been with Yuuri long enough that he knows without being asked when or how to start. This is no different as he bends and gives Yuuri the bite on his scent gland to initiate a mating bond. Yuuri moans, dropping his head against Victor’s shoulder, and as Victor bites down hard enough to bruise, he dips his fingers into Yuuri’s underwear. He presses two of them into Yuuri’s clit, causing Yuuri to buck and moan louder. 

Victor doesn’t have to move his fingers, because Yuuri’s hips make all the effort while the bond works its magic, so to speak. Yuuri’s moans rise in pitch until they become more of a prolonged wail as he comes the first time. 

It helps to cement the bond as well as taking the edge off Yuuri at the start. 

Victor keeps his fingers exactly where they are, and Yuuri grinds against them until he’s close to his second orgasm. Victor gives him another, lighter nip as he dips a finger inside of Yuuri alongside the ones touching his clit. 

Yuuri gives a frustrated keen. 

“Not yet,” Victor admonishes. He knows that one finger isn’t even close to the girth of a cock, knot or no, and Yuuri keens a second time because Victor’s being smart and careful, but he just wants to ride him until they both die from it right now. “Not yet, just a little more--”

Yuuri pants, whimpers, and he changes the direction of his grinding. It works, he falls off that precipice again with a wail. He can feel how wet he’s gotten, the boxers long-soaked and sticking to his thighs from his slick. 

God, he’s desperate. He wants it so bad, but it’s always easier if it’s a slow climb instead of a quick rise. 

Victor withdraws his hand, sucking his own fingers clean. Yuuri’s eyes are still closed from the second orgasm, so he just hears the sounds. It’s somehow both loving _and_ lewd. “I love how you taste so much,” Victor says with obvious reverence. 

Yuuri bites his bottom lip. “Please,” he says. 

It took him two days of the first one they shared to feel comfortable with begging Victor for things during his heat, like where to touch or how long to, how deep, or even just that he needed another round at all. He felt stupid after he managed it the first time because he got everything he requested and then some. 

Victor smiles into Yuuri’s neck. He picks Yuuri up bodily and lies him on his back in the middle of the nest. Then he whips Yuuri’s boxers down, something he only realizes when the cooled air in their room hits his thighs, and then Victor rests between Yuuri’s open thighs. 

Yuuri doesn’t speak, just grips his hair and guides him where he needs him most. 

Victor’s mouth goes right to Yuuri’s clit, two fingers inside him, and Yuuri can’t help but grind up against Victor’s face. This part always gets a little blurry; it’s where Yuuri loses his sense of time to the insane pleasure Victor gives and gives and _gives_ \--

Yuuri knows the third time from the way he screams, the fourth because he can’t breathe, and Victor says he himself doesn’t count beyond the fifth because it feels arrogant and greedy in a way he doesn’t particularly want to examine about his own personality. Regardless, Victor hasn’t even properly taken him yet, and this first wave is about fully satisfied. 

When Yuuri can’t tell where he stops coming versus where he starts, that’s when Victor removes his mouth. His lips are red and shiny from Yuuri’s slick, and he has to be hard to the point where it hurts like shit, but he finishes Yuuri’s initial wave with a very knowledgeable curve of his fingers alongside a ruthless amount of pressure on his G Spot until Yuuri shakes so hard the bed joins him as he shrieks like some sort of banshee. 

Yuuri’s first wave should be about finished. He feels a little wrung out, but his body is begging for something better than Victor’s fingers. His hips keep rolling like Victor’s pulling a puppet’s strings, but he’s not feverish any longer. 

At least for the time being. 

Victor kisses his forehead. He gently caresses the bond bite, and Yuuri sighs, feeling a bit of an electric current run from Victor into him. Victor follows the touch with his lips, pressing a soft kiss to his mark, and Yuuri’s frustration wanes. He closes his eyes and lies still, not sleeping, not yet, but resting. 

His scent fades for a second before Victor returns, placing a cool compress to Yuuri’s forehead. He uses another soft, damp cloth to wipe some of the sweat from his face, neck, and upper arms. Yuuri still has the shirt on, but when the second wave hits, it’ll probably be too hot and Victor will remove it. 

Victor raises Yuuri just enough that he can sip some water without choking. He gets about half the glass down, which is apparently satisfactory. Then Victor lies beside Yuuri, and Yuuri immediately clings to him with his face buried in his chest. Victor’s lost the dress shirt and his undershirt somewhere. Then Yuuri feels something drape across his shoulders; it’s the dress shirt. 

“I added the rest of my clothing to the nest,” Victor says. 

Yuuri makes a pleased sound. “S’nice.”

“Good,” Victor says. 

Yuuri dozes off, but when he wakes up Victor’s eyes are open and watching him. The bite throbs a little with Yuuri’s heart rate, and he feels that wet heat pool at the apex of his thighs again. Recognition fills Victor’s gaze along with that unbridled want that Yuuri always feels awed by. 

After biting his lip for a minute, Yuuri reaches a hand down between them. Victor’s cock is hard in his grip and as hot as an iron brand. Victor bites back a groan as Yuuri strokes it very lightly once. Then, he looks into Victor’s eyes again as he guides him to his opening. Just the tip rests at Yuuri’s entrance, and he looks at Victor up from under his lashes waiting on him to take the invitation. 

Making a noise that’s almost a growl, Victor presses Yuuri onto his back again before he drives inside him to the hilt. Yuuri sighs in relief, wrapping his thighs around Victor’s waist as he pulls out before thrusting back home. 

Yuuri stays mostly quiet this wave as Victor fucks him at a frenetic pace. It’s not as hard or as rough as it could be, to Yuuri’s slight disappointment, but the angle is perfect, he’s not too wet to get something out of it without his clit being touched, and Victor keeps kissing the moans out of his throat. 

It’s like when Victor eats him out during his heat, where he can’t really figure out how long things go or how often he comes. This time, though, it’s like Yuuri has one long, continuous orgasm when he starts coming. It’s not something that happens every time, but it’s _so good_ when it does, and it only grows stronger when he feels Victor’s knot begin to build. It’s like riding this crest of most amazing pleasure, and he feels Victor bite the bond mark again as he comes in Yuuri. Victor’s knots always take a while to deflate, and with that comes several waves of his seed pumping into Yuuri. 

When he finishes, Victor kisses him again and gets another cloth. He wipes away the excess come from Yuuri’s thighs and groin. Then he pulls Yuuri’s shirt off, gives him more to drink along with a protein bar and some fruit, and lets Yuuri doze. 

It repeats like this for a total of about 72 hours; Yuuri rests, Yuuri wakes, Victor takes him or if Victor’s body isn’t ready yet, Victor uses his mouth and his hands until that particular round subsides. He always kisses the bond mark after, he says _I love you_ after, and when they fuck, he makes sure that he comes in Yuuri without fail. 

The third day is when Victor’s rut always is fully triggered and the actual sex becomes a lot less gentle (though no less loving) but in his heat, Yuuri prefers the manhandling and the bruising. He craves it, in fact, and it’s the time when he’s most likely to conceive besides. 

Victor grabs Yuuri by the hair at one point, taking him from behind, and Yuuri _loves_ it. He feels Victor so much more this way, feels the knot on every single slide, and it’s another perfect angle. 

But always, when it’s over, Victor is soft and kind, telling Yuuri how much he loves him, and how safe he’ll make sure he stays. 

The final wave is more like their normal lovemaking, slow and steady, Victor’s hands entwined with Yuuri’s, and when he comes, he’s so reverent Yuuri feels tears prick the corners of his eyes. He carries Yuuri to the bath after, drawing a tub full of hot water, and he holds Yuuri as they soak for a while before washing him with a very gentle cloth and some shea butter soap. 

Yuuri almost falls asleep when Victor washes and conditions his hair, rinsing it gently with a cup of water so that it doesn’t get in Yuuri’s eyes. He dries Yuuri in a fresh cotton towel, sitting him on the chaise in their room. 

Then Yuuri’s carried like a bride to their bed. It’s been covered in clean sheets and a pile of blankets. When the heat breaks, Yuuri tends to be cold for a few hours, and Victor does his level best to prevent chills so he doesn’t get sick. Victor lets himself in under the covers on his side of the bed, and then he holds Yuuri close. Yuuri makes a very tired sound as he relaxes. 

The last thing Yuuri feels before he sleeps is Victor’s palm covering his stomach for a minute, before returning to Yuuri’s back. 

* * *

  
  
It’s been about a month since Yuuri’s heat. Victor is at the rink with Mila for her solo ice time. There are about two hours before Victor will get home. 

In front of Yuuri are four different brands of pregnancy tests. On his phone are four different alarms for the next three to ten minutes. 

The three minute one is negative. The five minutes and eight minutes also. 

Yuuri feels his mouth fill with thick spit. 

The ten-minute one says it’s a no also.

He can go to the doctor and get a blood test to be sure, but...four tests seem pretty clear. He’s not pregnant. It didn’t work. 

More than worrying about how Victor will handle the news, he’s...wow, he’s actually really unhappy about this. He’s not miserable or drowning, but he’s not relieved or okay with it. 

Yuuri is fully let down. 

It’s suddenly stifling in their flat, so he takes Makkachin on a walk, gets a latte from a coffee shop nearby, grabs their mail and packages from the first floor, and cleans the kitchen. 

Yuuri is about to dust the whole place, vacuum, and maybe restyle their living room shelves when Victor comes home. Oh _no_.

“Tadaima, Yuuri,” Victor says. 

“Okaeri,” Yuuri replies with a shaky smile. 

Victor must not notice, because he walks into the bedroom, causing Yuuri to realize he didn’t hide or throw out the tests. He bolts to the bathroom after him just as Victor notices the sticks on the counter.

Victor reads the box for one of them, then looks at the number of lines on the indicator. 

Yuuri waits. 

Victor glances at him. “They’re all the same, I’m assuming?”

Unable to meet his gaze, Yuuri nods. 

Victor hums for a second, pressing his index finger against his lips like he always does. “A lot of parents don’t get pregnant the first time they try, you know? And with how long you were on your pill, this was always a likely outcome.”

Is he convincing himself or Yuuri? Yuuri can’t really tell without looking, so he forces himself to and...no, he’s convincing _Yuuri_. Victor’s fine. 

Victor lifts Yuuri’s face by his chin. “It’s okay. We get to keep trying. Not like it’s not fun,” Victor says with a wink. “It’ll happen when it’s right.”

He’s too good for him, Yuuri thinks. “Yeah.”

Bending down, Victor gives Yuuri a long kiss before he nuzzles the scent gland in his neck. The bond mark is still fading since they’re not like normal bruises or hickeys, and the more times one is given, the longer it lingers after. 

Victor pulls back and gives Yuuri a cocky grin. “I’m free for the rest of the day, so if you’d like to try again…”

Yuuri swats his arm, but then he takes his hand and leads him to their bed. 

Being married without kids for a while longer, Yuuri decides as Victor gets him dishabille and debauched in near-record time, is just fine. 

**Author's Note:**

> I super super hope you enjoy this Ren, and sorry about the 80000000 questions including the eleventh-hour one yesterday! 
> 
> I've seen a lot of Historical Omegaverse and Modern Bureaucracy Omegeaverse, but I thought Entirely Mundane Omegaverse had some interesting and comedic potential. 
> 
> The title is a quote from Abraham Lincoln. Am I the worst? Am I the best? Who knows!
> 
> Thanks to Robbie and Amber for the betas! Bless you both.
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/sink_or_swim) | [Tumblr](https://sinkingorswimming.tumblr.com)


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